Those days are long gone now. I think back when I first had Zac my oldest who is now 23. I was in labor for over 36 hours, he still moves at that same pace. (smile) He has a beautiful, easy going nature now and he is wise beyond his years regarding world events. I thank God that he lives only a stones throw away and I still get to break bread, share a joke, loan him money, share our groceries and I thank God that he knows the Lord. My, he was a handful, I swear that boy could scale a flat wall, run across the ceiling and land in the middle of freshly baked cake before I could blink! What an incredibly mellow young man he has grown into.
My youngest, Isaiah was what I call my midlife crises baby. I was 36 years old, Zac was 7. What a surprise to Zac that he was no longer going to be an only child!! Isaiah zoomed into the world in a record 45 minutes and that included labor!! He had inhaled marconium, I was told that he would easily be in ICU for at least a week. That was on a Wednesday, by Friday he was released and I in my regular clothes returned home as a single mom to two beautiful young children. Ok, so I wasn't divorced yet but I had already prepared myself to be a single mom. Although during the pregnancy there were some very tumultuous times, God saw us through and gave me the wisdom to stash cash and be prepared! Isaiah was the most easy going baby that there ever was, that is until he was 8 1/2 months old and began to walk!! Everything in his path was subject to destruction. But he did it so joyfully that I sometimes had to hide my own laughter from them both. We still laugh at the size of his head and ears in relation to his body and oddly bowed legs. The Doctor had to explain to me that they would straighten out, it was because he walked so early. They did, and he finally grew into his head. Both boys are well over 6 ft now. Some days I have to close my eyes or look at a picture to remember how much they needed me and how much I still very much need them. We have been through some tough times, God saw us through it all. They say there is no testimony without trials.
Earlier I mentioned that there were three boys. I remarried just after Isaiah's 3rd birthday and was gifted a third son. He is now 26. My poor Zac went from and only child to an older brother to the middle child. I always tell him that he is a prime candidate for Oprah or Dr. Phil! And Isaiah became what we coined, "News Center 3." If there was anything the parents needed to know we could get if from Isaiah! Funny thing is, he gave you the facts. No embellishment, no nonsense...just the facts!! Needless to say when my husband and I left the house we told the oldest he was in charge but secretly told Isaiah we expected a full report upon our return!
Now, with one left at home I find myself thoughtfully considering those "other" Mothers' Day's. I miss those nights of using the ironing board as a piano, the air guitar, the brush as a mic with the music blasting late into the evening when there was no school! I miss the boys dressing Isaiah up like James Brown and miming, "Baby Please Don't Go" complete with the wig and robe......there are nights that I watch the video's and laugh until my stomach hurts!! And so it goes.....life goes on or as Isaiah would say, "everything just keeps changing, some good, some bad, but changing." I am so grateful for those times and I am grateful for today.
I had to learn when to let go and to open the door smiling when they returned. This is still home and I leave a light on just in case. God blessed me with an enormously insane sense of humor and that blessing was passed on to my boys. Those generational curses have been bound and forever never to return. I made a lot of mistakes as we all do. Never did I proclaim to be a perfect mother but I do proclaim that I am perfectly and wonderful made according to God's word and so are my children. I am grateful that we greet each other with a hug and leave each other with a hug, I am glad that they still feel comfortable enough to dive on my bed and watch a movie while popcorn with extra butter is passed and fought over. I am joyful that we express our love as well as our misgivings......we say "I'm sorry" and more importantly we say, "I Love You!"
People say you become your mother when you become a mother. I see glimpses of my own mother but for the most part I see a strength and determination not to become my mother, or her mother or her mother's mother. I was determined to express love and tenderness, show my emotions and most of all hug them and tell them everyday that I love them. And with that being said...all I have done I have done for them and I thank them for teaching me to also love myself, despite myself!! LOL......
To my sons.....I love you and thank you for loving me!!
